...do sushi takeaway places insist on only giving you a single soy sauce sachet and one eensy wasabi packet even if you've ordered a shitload of sushi?
...do people buy bags of pre torn-up lettuce?
...do TV shows these days comprise 10 minutes of actual show, 20 minutes of ads and 30 minutes of boring filler/thinking time/"flashbacks"/shit we don't want to see?
...do some people say "bought" when they mean "brought"?
...is Jennifer Connolly considered pretty?
...are people who order decaf soy lattes think they're better than the poor shmuck who orders a long black?
...aren't chip packets full to the top anymore?
...are school secretaries among the scariest people I've ever had to deal with?
...do childless people need more than half an hour to get ready in the morning?
...are the hideous '80s fluoro colours being called "nu-rave" and touted as the Next Big Thing in fashion?
...hasn't Child Services picked up Bindi Irwin yet?
If you know, tell me. I'm confused.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Zig a zag aaahhhh
OK. Confession time.
I may not have too much respect for people who can't spell, arrogant arseholes or talentless wenches but I'll always make an exception for one woman.
Posh Spice.
It intrigues me how a woman like her -- ie. one with no discernable talent, a husband who has been cowering in the closet for decades and a body that resembles a wire coathanger with two whoopie cushions pinned to the front -- can be so damn successful.
Let's face it - she mimed and pouted her way through her Spice Girl days, she snagged a hot bloke and by most reports, an even hotter pre-nup and now spends her days doing...well, nothing.
While all the other celebs are trying hard not to look like the talentless, self-absorbed brats they are, dear Posh has embraced it.
And look at her now -- she's even conquered America (which is more than can be said for my other favourite Brit Robbie Williams...sorry, Rob).
I may not have too much respect for people who can't spell, arrogant arseholes or talentless wenches but I'll always make an exception for one woman.
Posh Spice. No, no, stay there. I do have a rational explanation...I think.
Victoria Beckham -- or "Posh Spice" to the readers of countless tragic women's mags -- is truly awesome.
It intrigues me how a woman like her -- ie. one with no discernable talent, a husband who has been cowering in the closet for decades and a body that resembles a wire coathanger with two whoopie cushions pinned to the front -- can be so damn successful.
Let's face it - she mimed and pouted her way through her Spice Girl days, she snagged a hot bloke and by most reports, an even hotter pre-nup and now spends her days doing...well, nothing.
Which is a helluva lot more impressive that all those cookie-cutter Hollywood stars like Jessica Alba, Reece Witherspoon and Jennifer Aniston who, y'know, work out all the time and switch loser boyfriends and publicise every coin they give to charity.
Posh doesn't work out -- she just doesn't eat. And give money to charity? Hell no, every last cent is donated to the Make Me Look Faaaaaaabulous Fund.
While all the other celebs are trying hard not to look like the talentless, self-absorbed brats they are, dear Posh has embraced it.
And look at her now -- she's even conquered America (which is more than can be said for my other favourite Brit Robbie Williams...sorry, Rob).
Posh, you may not ever receive a Nobel Peace Prize, an Ivor Novello Award or even a BMI that verges on a human weight but you've done a remarkable service to all the witless cows out there.
Bravo.
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