Are you allowed to throw a tantrum if you're not?

Are you smaaaaaarter than a fifth graaaader?

Does anyone have high hopes for this show?

I have to admit, the promos initially grabbed me. What does HTML stand for? (Hackneyed Television Made for Losers? I can't remember.)

But now, I just feel sad.

Sad, because I know that in 10 years' time, these Fifth Graders will end up on a hideous Where Are They Now show where they'll bitch about Rove exploiting all their glorious 10-year-old potential.

And somehow, somewhere, I'll feel compelled to watch it.

And another thing -- the term 'Fifth Grader' is so American. Can't we at least half-sing, half-whine "Are you smaaaaarter than a kid who's in Year Fiiiiiiive?"

P.S. Does it make me smarter than a kid in Year Five if I'm over the fact the cool girl never let anyone else role-play the Pink Power Ranger on the school oval at lunchtime? Hmm...

Would you like Inner Turmoil with that?

So maybe it’s a snob thing, but I don’t expect to be thrown a mental challenge when I go through a KFC drive-thru.

At the pub? Happens all the time.

In a supermarket checkout? *shrug* Possibly.

But a KFC drive-thru??

Looking back, I should’ve known it would be a crap idea to go there in the first place.

But what can a girl do? The hunger pains were there and the urge to wait ten minutes for a nice café lady to prepare me a wholesome meal wasn’t -- so there I was, inching up the KFC drive-thru during my lunch break.

“Two Piece Feed, thanks,” I chirp to the Window Girl.

WG: “That’s $6.95.”

Scraping through my bag, I find a five dollar note and an altogether appropriate accompaniment – a two dollar coin. Seven dollars. Great.

Then…

WG: “Do you want your 5c change with that?”

Do I want my change with that?

Eeek!

Suddenly sustain an icecream headache despite the fact I’m not even within sniffing distance of an Original Magnum.

My first impulse is to respond, “Yes, of course I do Why are you asking?”

But then, I wonder…

Take 2: “Wait a minute. It’s five cents. Will she think I’m stingy if I say I want it?”

Take 3: “But it’s my five cents, dammit!”

Take 4: “But am I really going to want that coin jangling at the bottom of my bag along with the $67 worth of other coins I have there?”

Take 5: “Change is not sweet chilli sauce – it is NOT optional!”

(In fact, if you ask me, sweet chilli sauce is NEVER optional. It’s just nasty. But I digress.)

Meanwhile, Window Girl looked on - complete with bored, slack-jawed expression - as though she’d asked the most ordinary question in the world.

My thought process just couldn’t handle a Take 6 - so I took it. The change, that is.

And put it into the next Guide Dog charity box I spotted, all the way reminding myself that a nice cafe lady would never have been so evil.